It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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