But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
