He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
