I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
