Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize