She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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