I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
