Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
