fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
