this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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