I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
