what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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