it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
