Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
