I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
