He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
