There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
