Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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