Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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