Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
third nipple confirmed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
