I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
