everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize