I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
