I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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