You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
