Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
