So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize