i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
