the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
