She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You're a waste of cheezeits
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
