She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
