I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
