I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
