I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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