what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
