Its about making memories worth repressing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
