I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
