did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
