How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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