Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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