I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize