just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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