What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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