he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize