okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
