my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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