The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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