first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
