So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
