Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
