did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
