so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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