You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
