What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
