i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
