:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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