Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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