She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
