I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
