there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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