i just google imaged poop.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
