No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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