It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
