this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found puke in my bra..
two words...techno handjob
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
